You can enjoy Argus' nationally syndicated column five days a week, Tuesday through Friday and Sunday, 52 weeks a year. Im starting to think Im responsible for this pandemic Buffalo warmed up Thursday ending the citys weeklong record blizzard home shutdown. Commentary. If you dont think that painkillers make you goofy and funny, how do you explain Jerry Lewiss career?President Obamas campaign ads linked Mitt Romney to Big Oil on Monday after the president attacked oil profits. By supporting creators you love on Patreon, you're becoming an active participant in their creative process. The difference is President Biden twice last week indicated that he is planning to announce that hes running for re-election for president soon. Search for real estate and find the latest listings of Cagnes-sur-Mer Property for sale. Reproduction and distribution of content, with or without modification, without written permission of Laugh Factory Inc., is prohibited. It spooked even Big Bank customers like me. Best prices and best deals for cars in Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. At. The president sees an opening here. Senior Living reports retirement communities in Palm Springs now offer Baby Boomers enclosed gated neighborhoods with golf courses, pools, tennis courts, clubhouses with billiard rooms, gyms and card rooms. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Comedy Store legend Argus Hamilton jokes about the news of the day and chats with comedians and other entertainers from the basement of the World Famous Come. Laugh Factory Inc., 8001 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046. Hamilton: Anheuser-Busch regrets its costly Bud Light move? Then they took off and soared to $22,000 per card. New Zealand transgender weightlifter Laurel Hubbard was gracious to the IOC, to Japan and to her fans after she failed all three lifts with the whole world watching. Portage Daily Register; Reedsburg Times-Press; In a nod to Holy Week, MSNBC crucifies Trump every morning and every afternoon Fox News raises him from the dead. Tiger Woods played well over the weekend in the Los Angeles Open sponsored by Genesis, the parent company of Hyundai. To back President Obamas gun control measures Read more, The news, as one twisted mind sees it In the news, McDonalds announced a huge increase in sales in November after its first-ever drop in October. Its nearly impossible for his friends to get him the right birthday gift. I finally heard on the news why were having an egg shortage. White House spokesman John Kirby offhandedly revealed that a second approaching object was quickly shot down out of the sky over Alaska Friday. We thank you. Lets see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that.. When home in Los Angeles, he can be seen live onstage at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. Argus Hamilton - Comedian Argus Hamilton's hilarious political humor column is available five days a week, Tuesday through Friday and Sunday, 52 weeks a year. In a related story, it was just revealed that salt water salmon caught near Seattle contain both antidepressants and cocaine. Now Biden wants to issue his own trading card, but he's terrified they'll put his career stats on the back of the card. Across the Street Courier Cooks Neighbors Puzzles Real Estate Top Jobs. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Lets face it. Published Jan. 25, 2021. The demonstration was amazing. I read about it in a Conde Nast tourism article, Two Reasons to Visit Seattle. Olympic gymnast Simone Biles sat in the stands and cheered her team to victory in Japan this past week. Comedian and columnist Argus Hamilton's daily monologue of jokes on news events, politics, sports and celebrities. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Umbrella-gate & More! Prince William and Kate left her parents home Friday, sparking frenzy that the royal birth was Read more. The Comedy Store is sending me down to San Diego on New Years Eve to perform at the Comedy Store La Jolla on its 45th anniversary. Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. Im an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist, Argus says. In college I dedicated my life to causing as much trouble as he did. Fox replies, hold my beer! Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts stepped in Monday and gave Title 42 a chance to stop the invasion of illegal immigrants and deadly drugs pouring across the border. sustaining monthly donation. Madonna blamed ageism and sexism President Biden will deliver his State of the Union tonight before a joint session of the House and Senate gathered in the House Chamber in the U.S. Capitol. The Washington Times reported that Medicare overpaid sixty-four million dollars for erection pumps which the federal program provides Read more, In the news: Duck Dynasty, crack-smoking mayor, lottery & more Duck Dynastys family patriarch Phil Robertson was put on hiatus by A&E Network after he compared homosexuality to Read more, Elton John, Mayor Rob Ford, the NSA & much more! Political Column syndicated in 180 newspapers across the US daily Official Comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial Fee Range $7,500 - $10,000 Traveling From Oklahoma and California Meet Argus Hamilton, the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." friend list, interests, likes and public profile, which includes your name, profile picture, user ID, age range, gender, networks, Meet Argus Hamilton, the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Twinkies, Royal Babies & More, Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Paula Deen & Much More. Fox News interviewed House Republicans who demand to learn all that's on Hunter Biden's laptop, suspecting it'll reveal shady business deals with his father and uncle. "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that." Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. During the shutdown, the cable news showed a Buffalo man trudging his way through six feet of snow and clearing a path barehanded. Arizona residents wonder why you call it Snowbird Season if you can't shoot at them. See our Privacy Policy. Comedian and columnist Argus Hamilton's daily monologue of jokes on news events, politics, sports and celebrities. Check out new hilarious editorial cartoons page, updated daily! There are Read more, In the news, General Petraeus agreed to face Congress to discuss the Benghazi attack and his sex scandal. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. Columns; Contests; Lifestyles. Democratic Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro called for gender equity in car safety testing Friday in House hearings. They just made it into the ocean. Friday, April 23, 2010 Argus Hamilton's column for 4-23-10 President Biden's poll numbers slipped as the mood sours over the border and mask mandates but people still appreciate the peace and quiet from the White House. These cookies do not store any personal information. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Laugh Factory, LaughFactory.com, the Laugh Factory logo, and all media posted have proprietary rights and are registered as trademarks and copyrights, of Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. Missouris State Fair banned a rodeo clown for life who wore a Barack Obama mask while a bull Read more, A-Rod: Trying to enhance his chances of playing again The FDA discovered e-coli in ground beef that is distributed nationwide but it wont hurt the restaurant business. Anheuser-Busch courted customer outrage and boycott by celebrating Transgender Rights Day by placing transgender woman activist Dylan Mulvaneys image on Bud Light beer cans Pope Francis hosts Good Friday services in Rome today for Roman Catholics worldwide. "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that.". Les municipalits ont tenu profiter d'un moment de rpit dans la crise sanitaire pour clbrer la fte Nationale. This Christmas, Kanye West will be going from house to house to make your drunk uncle seem OK. As we share our homes with relatives and loved ones, we are reminded of that first Christmas scene. Hollywood legendary movie star Raquel Welch died after a short illness in L.A. Wednesday at age eighty-two. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Theyre getting clobbered at the All You Can Eat Buffets. Prescott Interior Designs of Atlanta told Yahoo News people should change their toilet seats every five years. Become a Humor Times patron via Patreon.com! Argus Hamilton on the News: Elton John, Mayor Rob Ford, the NSA & more! We thank you. Ads from car dealers and private sellers. magazine and by radio personalities including Paul Harvey. Government workers will have to stop not working. The court ruled that its discriminatory to make only the white and Asian high school students do their homework.Apple was reported Monday to be using college interns who work for free in Apples Chinese assembly factories. President Biden was a big hit in Ireland Wednesday. You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. The Canadian Snowbird Association reported that the state of Arizona gets a million Canadian visitors every year during the winter. When he's in Los Angeles, he can be seen working out the latest material nightly at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. They want Florida, New Jersey and California to tear down all the Trump statues on his golf courses. Hamilton: Still counting Super Bowl points in Arizona. The Hollywood Reporter said Sundays Grammy Awards on CBS drew very low ratings, with the post-show buzz centered on revulsion over a devil-worship number and Madonnas plastic surgery. Comedian and nationally syndicated columnist Argus Hamilton entertains at corporate events and meetings around the country. In Los Angeles Read more, Paula Deen & the N-word and much more Paula Deen said she uses the N-word when joking and suggested that black waiters dress like slaves. President Biden gleefully mocked Donald Trump Friday for issuing a limited set of trading cards as NFT for $99 on the crypto market. Donald Trumps indictment was ripped by conservative legal experts Friday and glorified by pundits on the Left. The Read more, On the royal baby, Detroit bankruptcy, immigration, and many more hilarious subjects! Argus Hamilton, Southern Man of Taste The Comedy Store Podcast Stand-Up Argus has seen it all and today he shares a couple of stories in which the felonies that were committed have passed the statute of limitations for prosecution in the great state of California. Everyone agrees he needs at least three more concussions to be as funny as Terry Bradshaw. Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. One boat capsized and steering mountings were knocked loose.Its times like this when Mitt Romneys yacht elevator in La Jolla suggests hed be a wise steward of the U.S. economy.Current TV fired Keith Olbermann as host of the cable networks evening news show Friday. Get ready for all of The Comedy Store tales! By Argus Hamilton, January 18, 2014 language, country and your other public info. Elton John dared the Russian government to cancel his upcoming concert in Moscow Tuesday, saying he will speak Read more, Porn Hub, Obamacare and much more! This year Bill Murray was in Florida telling cameras here we are at Tom Bradys retirement again. Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Tuesday, August 4, 2009 . Argus Hamilton's bio posted by Susan Shelley @ 2:39 AM Argus performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. Fox News cited an intelligence report Thursday saying UFO sightings have surged in the past two years in the U.S. CNN, NBC and ABC reported there were 400 sightings of UFOs in the U.S. last week. The billionaire is off the grid along with staff including his yacht captain and crew, his science advisor and several women. Here's part four of our annual look at the Year in Jokes. Electing a guy with Donald Trump's personality as the president is like marrying a nymphomaniac. They said it shows that in the past World Cups it was the gays who caused all the trouble. Just two more payments and those dozen eggs are mine. Forbes magazine published an article called Ten Reasons to Drink During the Holidays, citing the sociable nature of office parties and family reunions. Argus is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including the San Francisco Chronicle, the Los Angeles Times and the Seattle Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine, by sports columnists around the country, and by radio hosts who took a cue from the late Paul Harvey, one of Argus longtime fans and admirers. Review and Buy used cars online at OOYYO. Hunter's love child is only two years old and already she's on the USC rowing team. Copyright 2023 All American Speakers Bureau. Barries classic 1904 English stage hit. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Get access to a fantastic community of comedy fans! U.S. Olympic athletes inspired debates on cable news Monday on whether they represent the U.S. or themselves at the Games, and I'd say they represent us all. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Contact Argus@ArgusHamilton.com for more information. Not just muppets Hamilton: ATM in the gym lobby is best machine to impress the women, Hamilton: Bud Light has always been trans its water that identifies as beer, Hamilton: I found nuclear launch codes in a fortune cookie, Hamilton: MSNBC crucifies Trump every morning, Fox raises him from the dead, Hamilton: The Founding Fathers would be on the FBI watch list today, Hamilton: Payoffs, hush money show Trump knows how to negotiate, Hamilton: Settling for Partly Cloudy Daniels, Hamilton: Alliance aligns with March Madness bracket picks, Hamilton: Not everybody can be Irish; somebody has to drive, Hamilton: Vodka mixes well with everything but decisions, Hamilton: Tax refund will pay for that dozen eggs, Hamilton: Money left in your bank account after taxes is an IRS red flag, Hamilton: Tinker Bell has new sister in latest movie, Hamilton: Life in prison is diminishing deterrent for the aging, Hamilton: This candidate gets you four presidents in one, Uncle Sams tall hat handy when its being passed around, Hamilton: Look how much I still owe to Ukraine, Hamilton: Prez shoots down balloon angioplasty idea out of habit. St. Patricks Day Parades are held today, a precious day for Irish Catholic Americans. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Miley Cyrus and Much More! Las Vegas hotels were reported Tuesday setting up legal consumption lounges for pot smokers to keep them out of the casinos and off the streets. Get access to a bi-monthly live Q&A with Argus (and sometimes a special guest!). Submit your best content, jokes, photos, or videos to become an exclusive Laugh Factory member and have your content shared on our website. Are you singing the seasonal allergies blues? Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. That explains everything. Hollywood should stick to doing what it does best, cocaine and each other. "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that." Argus Hamilton. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. The owners of the medals have notified the police. The cop asked me why I ran through a red light and I told him its 2023, I dont see color. [2] [3] [4] Hamilton began his stand-up comedy career at The Comedy Store. Hamilton: Murdochs much-younger fiance calls off wedding; he must have passed physical, Hamilton: Male crash dummies are too proud to ask for directions. Oklahoma Speakers is a speakers bureau that specializes in helping meeting planners, corporations, and associations locate, select, and confirm the best speakers, entertainers and other talent for their events and meetings. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus jokes. He said Italians are emotional people who like to express themselves physically. Its the most liberal court in America. Keith Olbermann has been fired more times than a Civil War cannon.Wells Fargo opened a new banking firm Monday that serves people with fifty million dollars. He has responded to accusations he gave unwanted hugs the same way he'd answer if accused of beheading a movie studio owner's horse. The man can reminisce. FEATURES. Each month, get a new mug, shirt, sticker, etc. The Mars Curiosity rover was rebooted by NASA Monday after it had an unexpected glitch this past weekend. Find Property for sale in Cagnes-sur-Mer, Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. Check out our current wonderful Sustaining Supporters here! Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: From A-Rod to Carlos Danger, Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: The Royal Baby & Much More. Oklahoma Speakers 2023. Kim Jung Un was reported to be so angry, he stormed back to the palace, kicked his dog, and then ate it. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. He is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including, , by weekly business papers including the. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. When all the guys my age were back in high school, we fantasized about having sex with Raquel Welch. Please join them, and help support independent media! By Argus Hamilton Published August 4, 2021 The White House didn't comment Monday on why President Biden was not invited to Barack Obama's sixtieth birthday party. Argus Hamilton on the News: Medicare, Duck Dynasty & Much More! Excerpts from Argus' column are heard regularly on radio stations across the country and are quoted in the Los Angeles Times as well as in the Yesterday in Beverly Hills I got out of a traffic ticket by pretending that Im woke. The official Facebook page of comedian, talk show host, and writer Argus Hamilton. Bookmark the page and share it! Traveling From California Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? People magazine just named her least Likely Ever to Become President. Oklahoma Hypnotist, Ventriloquist, Announcer & "Voice of OETA" Featured on "Good Morning America" and in TIME magazine Known as Darci Farmer's Long Time Coach (the Hit Sensation Seen on America's Got Talent), Former ABC War Correspondent; CNN's Former Chief Terrorism Correspondent Recently Embedded in Iraq & Afghanistan with ABC Subject of the ABC documentary film "The Hornet's Nest" (released 2014), Motivational Speaker and Author Customer Experience Expert Customer Service Speaker and Author. sustaining monthly donation. The same day, Chinas navy sent three warships into Taiwanese territorial waters. His wife had just told him were out of bacon and theres only one beer left. When hes in Los Angeles, he can be seen working out the latest material nightly at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. The Irish Catholic president saw Protestant Belfast, toured castles in Ireland that were owned by English lords and he met with Englands prime minister who is Pakistani. Hamilton: Is WalMart planning to invade Costco? Tweet with a location. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. The Silicon Valley Banks failure was blamed on the combination of higher interest rates and the banks woke business practices. Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." You will receive 5 new columns each week and 2 columns from the archives. Welcome to part five of our annual look at the Year in Jokes. With all the Fentanyl out there, who needs to play Russian Roulette nowadays? North Korea's dictator Kim Jung Un was on hand for the launch of two intercontinental ballistic missiles Sunday which were to prove he could attack the United States. Biden will open by declaring the State of the Union is strong, and theres evidence Joe is right. Argus performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Supermarket News reports shortages of tinned fish, and lettuce, dwindling beef supplies, and even a champagne shortage, along with the egg shortage causing poultry products to skyrocket. It is available for print and websites through ExtremeInk.com. Meet the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." My direct ancestor Lord James Hamilton founded Northern Ireland for King James I in 1606 and flooded County Ulster with British Protestants. Patron-only posts and messages YOU MIGHT LIKE Going to The Store $5 / month They just added family and relationship counseling because the minute the bank opened its doors, the lobby was filled with beautiful groupies.The Daily Caller quoted a book Monday saying Rick Perry was on painkillers during the GOP debates to relieve lower back pain. The January 6 Committee issued a criminal referral on Trump, citing a 14th Amendment article written in 1866 to keep Confederate officers from re-entering politics after the war. JamesEdition can help you find the home that match all the preferences for your dream home. Hamilton: Argus responsible for pandemic; he didnt send email to 10 people, Hamilton: Southwest flight is booked for Jan. 5th or 6th or 7th, Hamilton: Even the signs are private in La Jolla, Hamilton: Harry and Meghan insist in millionth interview they just want privacy, Hamilton: The Fourth Wiseman brought a fruitcake. It's fun for about two weeks.

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